I want to retreat into a cocoon and burst forth months hence as a better person for everyone in my life, including me. Lately it seems as if all my energy is devoted to countering all the tiny stresses which flow in an insidious undercurrent that doesn’t feel like stress. The net result is that I’m just okay, just getting by. Ambitions and drives fizzle easily. There is no Great Work welling up inside me, no stories, no art. Getting the laundry done has become a noteworthy event, a sign that the day did not die in vain. All other tasks or concepts overwhelm.
I wander out of my quarters, wondering where the crew has gone. I spin the steering wheel out of boredom. Direction doesn’t matter when there is no land in sight. All the maps have blown overboard anyway.
Perhaps this song from 3rd Day will help…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEn74zP1glQ
And here are the lyrics
Revelation
words by Mac Powell / music by Third Day
My life has led me down the road that’s so uncertain
Now I am left alone and I am broken
Trying to find my way
Trying to find the faith that’s gone
This time I know that you are holding all the answers
I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances
On roads that never seem
To be the ones that bring me home
Give me a revelation
Show me what to do
‘Cause I’ve been trying to find my way
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without you
I’ve got nothing without you
My life has led me down this path that’s ever winding
Through every twist and turn, I’m always finding
That I am lost again
Tell me when this road will ever end
I don’t know where I can turn
Tell me, when will I learn
Won’t you show me where I need to go
Let me follow your lead
I know that it’s the only way that I can get back home
© 2008 Consuming Fire Music (ASCAP). All rights administered by EMI CMG Publishing.
wow, you got your laundry done? you must be doing better than you thought 😉 someone once told me you must first get really lost before you can find yourself.
I’ll trade you…
I have a horrible case of atopic dermatitis, which is short for “wanting to remove your skin with a very sharp knife”…
I just did my laundry. No matter what, there are always things that need cleaned…